


Red Hands

by PrincessWarrior



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Adora Needs Therapy (She-Ra), Blood, Blood and Injury, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Catra Needs Therapy (She-Ra), F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Trauma, catra's war crimes, micah also probably has trauma, micah has good advice, unintentional self-harm during a ptsd flashback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27955490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessWarrior/pseuds/PrincessWarrior
Summary: A darker hurt/comfort one-shot about the non-linear experience of trauma recovery. Set shortly after the show finale. Catra finds herself alone in the ship's brig and experiences a PTSD flashback. Adora and Bow come to her aid, and Adora learns how far Catra had gone while living on the flagship under Prime's command. Micah supplies Adora with some unexpected wisdom.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 101





	Red Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Rated M for gore. This was written after I saw a particular Tumblr post by 5hio, it's not really written about this comic but it was definitely directly influenced by it:  
> https://5hio.tumblr.com/post/629180942692614145/the-angstiest-catradora-forhead-kiss-they
> 
> Trigger warnings: unintended self-injury, vivid PTSD flashback.  
> Catra does not intentionally set out to self-harm but she does end up causing herself injury during a PTSD flashback, resulting in an alarming amount of blood. If you've ever cut through the quick of your fingernails, or if you've ever clipped a cat's nails too short, it can bleed a lot and while it's not life-threatening, it's definitely alarming and heckin painful. I do not like torturing Catra more than she already has been in the show, but I also don't imagine her recovery being an easy ride and this is just me imagining a small part of a difficult process. I also imagine Adora dealing with a lot of heavy emotions and struggling with her own complicated trauma, especially related to Catra. They both have a lot of Stuff to work on lol, individually as much as with each other. 
> 
> I'm also writing this under the assumption that the war was a lot more violent than the show can imply, and I imagine Catra and Glimmer were up on that flagship a lot longer than the show makes it seem. I don't really believe Lord Prime would just have Catra sitting on her hands when she has skills he can use against the Rebellion, so I tend to imagine him sending her out on missions like Hordak did on Etheria. 
> 
> I don't usually write this much gore into She-Ra, but I wrote this a couple months ago for Reasons and I've been sitting on it for a while and decided to just post it. I kind of editted it tonight, so ignore mistakes. If there are any I'll probably fix them eventually.

Veiled in darkness, Catra sat huddled on her haunches in the corner of the brig, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared at her hands, at her claws. In a wave of panic, she brought her fingers to her mouth and bit down, feeling the keratin of the first claw crunch between her teeth and snap off past the quick. She hardly noticed the blood streaming from her fingers as she moved to her left hand, spitting each claw out in a mad scramble to rid herself of her guilt. Finally she froze and felt stinging pain flood her senses from the tips of her fingers. She watched as blood poured out from the quicks of each finger, spilling over her hands. She frantically wiped her palms onto her pants and watched as a fresh stream of blood covered them again. Her shoulders heaved as she started to hyperventilate.

_All she saw was blood. Blood on her hands and under her claws as she stood above the mangled body of a young woman. She hardly had a moment to consider the life she’d just taken when her ear flicked to the right at the whirring sound of a weapon spinning toward her head. She ducked instinctively and heard the blade sing above her, slicing off a few locks of hair as it passed. Catra launched herself onto the hull of the Horde cruiser and surveyed the battlefield around her, watching as the blade arched back around like a boomerang and return into the outstretched hand of it’s owner; another young Rebellion fighter with defiant yellow eyes. She wasn’t alone. Catra watched as two other fighters and a white bird-like creature raced to her side, followed by a force of a few dozen other Rebellion fighters. Catra watched the clones Prime had sent her to lead being cut down all around her and knew it was time to cut her own losses. She swallowed her shame. She’d brought disappointing news to her commanding officers before; she could survive bringing this loss to Prime as well. She could spin it as a victory._

_As she slid into the cruiser’s gunner position behind the robot pilot, she took in a quick body count; despite their losses, her platoon had dealt heavy damage to this planet’s Rebellion force. At least twelve fighters dead by her own two bare hands; at least a few dozen more slain by the rest of her force. As the remaining Horde cruisers retreated, she commanded a final blow to the Rebellion: a few cruisers rounded back over the battlefield to launch one final series of air strikes. Catra grinned to herself as she watched the tiny Rebellion fighters scramble for cover far below. Lord Prime would be satisfied. She would prove herself worthy to him. She would survive. She always did._

_Finally, she looked down at her hands. The breath caught in her lungs at the sight of blood caked under her claws and matted in the fur from her fingers to her elbows. She looked up at the window of the cruiser, seeing her blood-stained reflection against the backdrop of stars and nebulae. She was shaking. She’d never been more grateful to have no one but a robot around her as she fell into a full panic attack._

_No. This was not what she wanted. This was what it cost for her to survive._

_It wasn’t worth it._

_But refusal now was a death sentence. The ultimatum stared back at her in that reflection: she could survive as a monster, or die as a monster._

_This couldn’t be how it all ends, could it?_

“Catra!”

Visions of red suddenly shifted to blue and her racing thoughts shattered back into the present as Adora’s eyes appeared in front of her. She felt Adora’s hands pressing into her shoulders and watched, almost as though observing from outside her own body, as Adora moved her hands and her eyes to Catra’s bloody fingers. Adora turned to the open doorway and shouted something about a first aid kit.

“I can’t heal you right now, I’m sorry,” Catra heard Adora say as she pressed a hand onto Catra’s cheek. “I don’t have the strength yet. But we’ll get you fixed up, okay?”

Catra nodded automatically, as though on autopilot.

“Just breathe, you’re okay. You’re safe, Catra. Can you breathe with me?”

Again, Catra nodded and watched Adora’s shoulders rise as she slowly breathed in, and Catra willed herself to follow her lead. She closed her eyes and breathed out as slowly as she could. Breathed in again, ragged, shaking. Breathed out.

“Breathe in, nice and slow,” came Adora’s calm voice. She was really here. Catra was really here. She felt the cold wall of the ship against her back, the floor under her feet, Adora’s ankle wrapped in Catra’s tail. She was really here, she was really safe. She breathed in again, slower, breathed out, and opened her eyes to see Adora staring back at her, eyes filled with an intoxicating combination of love and anguish.

“Do you want me to hold you?” Adora asked.

Catra pulled her hand away from Adora’s and grabbed her own shoulder, her gaze distant as she shook her head no.

“Okay,” replied Adora, shifting off her feet to sit on the floor a couple of feet away from Catra. Catra’s tail lashed around her knees protectively as Adora moved back.

Just then, Bow appeared in the doorway and hesitated before stepping into the dark room. Adora turned to face him and stood to meet him as he cautiously crossed the room. Catra heard them exchange a few words but couldn’t focus on what they were saying. Bow turned and softly left the room, hitting the door’s control panel to close it on his way out. Catra held herself with her arms tight around her chest, blood from her fingers still streaming everywhere. She tightened her grip around herself as Adora returned to her side, and turned her head shamefully away.

“Catra, I’m not here to talk about what happened, okay? Please, just let me help you take care of these injuries.”

Closing her eyes, Catra breathed in sharply and unravelled herself as she breathed out. “Okay.”

She let Adora take her arm to wipe blood from her skin and fur, starting with her upper arms and gently making her way down to her right hand. Catra winced as the alcohol came into contact with her claws.

“Fingers sure bleed like crazy, huh?” Adora offered with a soft chuckle. Catra responded with a quick, apologetic smile. “I think we’ll need more tourniquets. And some glue. I um, I don’t think these will stop bleeding any time soon.”

“Great.”

Adora pulled a communicator from her back pocket and asked Bow to bring some more supplies from the ship’s medical bay. While they waited, Adora applied the two finger tourniquets from the med kit to Catra’s thumbs and squeezed her other fingers with gauze pads until they started bleeding through.

“Adora, I’m sorry,” Catra whimpered, tears breaking through again as she watched the blood soak into the gauze.

“Shh-shh. You didn’t do anything wrong, Catra. We can talk about it when you’re ready, okay?”

“You’re always cleaning up after me. I always make everything worse, I just ruin everything, I hurt everyone around me, I just -”

“Hey,” Adora interjected, nudging her forehead into Catra’s while she kept her hands pressed around Catra’s fingers. “No shame parade. Got it?”

Catra sniffled and nodded, then gave a chuckle in spite of herself. “’Kay.”

A knock sounded on the other side of the door before it slid open to reveal Bow with a box overflowing with supplies. He skipped over to Adora’s side, kneeling as he set the box down.

“I didn’t know what you’d need so I sort of brought everything.”

“Thanks, Bow,” Adora smiled warmly. “Can you get some tourniquets? The small ones, for fingers. Eight of them. I - I can’t really move my hands right now.”

Bow started fishing through the box as soon as she mentioned “tourniquets” and tossed them one by one beside her, counting. Catra gave a low hiss as Adora slowly pried the gauze away from her fingers, glancing up at Catra nervously as she did so. For a moment it seemed like the bleeding had finally slowed until Adora gave Catra’s knuckles a gentle squeeze.

“Okay, I’m going to be completely honest, I haven’t done first aid for a couple of years so I’m kind of at a loss here.” She pulled the first tourniquet over Catra’s right index finger and twisted it tight, following with the next finger.

“Still can’t transform?” Bow asked hesitantly.

Adora sighed. “I can, just not for very long. Not long enough to heal anyone.” She gave a sardonic laugh. “Turns out healing an entire planet takes a lot of energy.”

“I’m sorry.”

Adora and Bow turned their eyes to Catra at the sound of her small voice.

“You shouldn’t have to be doing this. I’m sorry.” She moved her left hand to take one of the tourniquets from the floor. Adora grabbed her wrist, staring at her until Catra met her eyes.

“Let us help you.”

“Catra, we’re here for you. It’s okay to need help sometimes,” Bow added gently.

“I don’t need help!”

Adora and Bow fell into a stunned silence. Catra’s gaze pierced into the floor in front of her as she pulled her knees against her chest. Adora let out a frustrated sigh and Bow leaned away nervously.

“Catra, we all need help. Now, more than ever. So please, just, get over yourself and let us in.”

Catra heaved a heavy sigh and tucked her head into her knees. Reluctantly, she stretched her hands back out and relaxed them, allowing Adora to continue working the tourniquets over her left fingers.

“I know all of this is hard for you, Catra. I’m so proud of you, though, you know?” Adora said, more softly now. Catra made no response, so Adora continued. “Seeing you open up a little more every day, seeing you learn how to actually apologize, seeing you becoming this new you, I love seeing that. But I know it’s not easy, and no one expects you to be better all at once. I want you to reach out and let us help you get better. So please, stop being sorry for needing help.”

With the tourniquets applied to all of Catra’s fingers, Adora pulled off the gauze again and tested the flow of blood in each finger. Satisfied it was slowing, she cleaned Catra’s fingers and wound a fresh wrapping of gauze around Catra’s fingers. Then she turned to Bow, telling him he can leave if he wanted. He nodded and got up, closing the door again behind him while Adora held Catra’s fingertips tightly. She was sitting cross-legged in front of Catra, facing her, and settled both of their hands in her lap before leaning forward and placing a kiss gingerly on Catra’s forehead. As she pulled away Catra breathed in a sob.

“I just keep seeing blood.”

Adora leaned back, gently pulling Catra closer until she was in her lap, turned around so Adora could keep her grip on her fingers. Adora nuzzled her cheek against Catra’s, feeling hot tears.

“It’s over now, Catra. There won’t be any more blood.”

“I keep seeing them. All of them.”

Adora hesitated as Catra curled up tighter into herself, wrapping her tail around her waist.

“Who?” Adora asked cautiously.

“I keep hearing them.” Catra shivered and pulled her hands free from Adora’s grasp, staring at the blood still slowly soaking through the gauze. She ripped the pads off and watched as blood slowly poured out from the quicks of her claws.

“Their screams. Their cries. Their pleading. I can’t bring them back.”

“Catra, what are you talking about?”

Catra heaved out a ragged breath, took in a gulp of air and stilled herself before breathing out again. She brought the gauze back to her hands and let Adora continue applying pressure to her fingertips.

“I killed people, Adora.”

She let the words hang in the air for a moment while Adora absorbed their weight.

“You - you were chipped. It wasn’t your fault, Catra.”

“No.” Catra’s tone suddenly took on a thick, haunting quality. “No, Adora, it started happening before he chipped me.” She curled further into herself. Then, in a barely audible whisper: “I’m so sorry.”

Adora was silent for several minutes. Catra could feel how rigid she was; could hear her shallow breathing. Finally Adora seemed to snap back into reality as she pulled the gauze away one final time.

Her voice was thick and mechanical. “I think it’s stopped bleeding for now. There’s medical glue in here somewhere.” She turned away from Catra and crawled over to the box Bow had brought. She fished through it until she pulled out a small vile. She uncapped it to reveal a brush inside the lid coated in a clear liquid. “Give me your hands.”

Catra froze, staring at her, terrified. Adora avoided her eyes. Then, “Catra!”

Catra flinched and shuffled closer, holding her hands out to Adora so she could start applying the glue over each claw. Catra kept glancing between Adora’s focused eyes and her shaking hands. When she’d finished, she capped the vile and tossed it back into the box. She turned back to Catra, her gaze falling on Catra’s hands. Catra stared at her pale face.

“You killed people?”

Catra felt her whole chest go cold. She didn’t move. Finally Adora turned her gaze up to meet hers.

“Willingly?”

Catra’s shoulders sank and she shifted off her knees, shuffling away from Adora back against the wall. She hugged her knees to her chest and stared at her hands. Her fingers were turning purple, the tourniquets still squeezing tight while the blood started to coagulate under the glue. Finally Catra dropped her hands to her knees and hid her face.

“Is it ‘willing’ if your only other option is to die?”

“Yes!”

Catra’s ears perked up at Adora’s sharp response. Her gut flashed cold with guilt, and was immediately replaced with anger.

“Then I’m sorry I’m not a perfect hero like you.”

Adora was silent for a moment and Catra looked up to see a complicated mix of anger, shock, and grief in Adora’s face. Then Adora stood, picking up the box. She fished out a pair of safety scissors and tossed them to Catra’s side.

“Cut the tourniquets off. I need some time to think.”

“Adora, wait!”

Adora stopped but refused to turn.

“Can you at least send Melog here? I - I don’t want to be alone.”

Finally Adora turned and looked at Catra, then down at the scissors beside her.

“Will you be okay for ten minutes?”

“Yeah.”

Adora pulled her communicator from her pocket and handed it to Catra. “If you’re not, call Glimmer. Before you do anything. Promise?”

Catra reached out slowly and took the communicator from Adora. She nodded quickly as a tear slid from her eyes.

Adora hesitated. “I’m not - I’m not leaving you, Catra. I’ll be back before nightfall. We need to talk about this. I - I need to talk about this. I just need time to think about what I’m feeling, okay? So please, please call someone if you need help.”

“I will. I promise.”

Adora turned and brought a hand to her face, wiping a tear from her own eye as she opened the door. She disappeared to the left down the hall, leaving the door open. Catra cut the tourniquets off her fingers, stretching them to encourage blood flow back into them. Within ten minutes, she heard the bounding steps of Melog before they appeared in the doorway. She smiled at them and Melog gave her a loving chirrup as they leaped across the room and nuzzled her.

“Hey buddy,” said Catra, warmly. “I love you, too.”

She cradled Melog in her arms as they licked her hands.

“I’m not a monster, am I, Melog?”

They turned and looked at her. They gave a long, gentle trill in response and Catra’s ears flattened as she buried her head into their mane. “I hope you’re right.”

————————————————

Thoughts raced through Adora’s mind. She’d left the ship and practically ran from the landing zone to the castle’s great hall. Once inside she slowed to a fast clip, winding her way aimlessly through the hallways. She had no real destination in mind, she just needed to get somewhere high, somewhere private where she could think. By the time she reached the top of one of the castle’s battlements, she was out of breath from the flights of stairs. The small lookout room opened up around her as she stepped up from the stairwell and she stopped as soon as she realized she wasn’t alone. Micah turned to face her from the open window.

“S-sorry, I didn’t know anyone was up here.” Adora moved back down the first step but Micah raised a hand toward her.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind company.”

Adora froze, weighing the invitation with her own need for privacy. She closed her eyes and stepped up into the room, sidling up against the window frame a few feet from Micah.

“Come here to check out the view?” she teased, attempting to distract herself from her own thoughts.

Micah shrugged, a sad smile playing across his lips. “I used to come up here a lot with Angella.” Then he turned to Adora with a friendly, yet accusatory look. “So, who are you running away from?”

Adora pursed her lips, then let out a breath and looked out across the Whispering Woods. “No one. I don’t know. Me, maybe.”

“Sounds complicated.” Micah offered her an inviting smile. “Care to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Micah shrugged. “Just as well. I’m probably honestly not the best person to talk to about complicated head stuff anyway.”

Adora turned to him curiously.

“You spend enough time alone, eating bugs just to survive, you sort of forget how to relate to the big, complex problems people have.”

“I don’t know, that sounds like one of those experiences that makes you all wise and stuff. Er, the being alone part, not so much the eating bugs thing,” Adora chuckled.

Micah bellowed a laugh and grinned at Adora. “Hey, you know what? It may be. Won’t know for sure unless someone asks me for my wisdom though.”

“What about Glimmer? You’re her advisor now, she hasn’t asked you for any guidance or, you know, advice?”

“Glimmer? No. Not at all. In fact, she’s done quite the opposite. She won’t take anything I offer at all,” Micah replied with a forlorn smile.

Adora huffed a laugh. “Yeah, actually, that does sound more like her.” She saw Micah’s face shift sadly as he gazed back out the window. “Hey, don’t take it personally. She’s stubborn, but she will come to you if she needs to. Trust me.” Adora laughed with a shrug. “She may come to you when it’s almost too late, but it’ll happen.”

“I don’t know if she even needs to, honestly. She’s a strong leader. I can’t believe how much she’s grown.” He paused. “I can’t believe how much I’ve missed.”

Adora followed his gaze out the window, settling her eyes on the ship in the new landing bay by the main gates.

“King Micah —”

“Please, it’s just Micah. I’m not the king anymore.”

Adora took in a deep breath. “Micah, if - if you found out Glimmer had done something in the past you aren’t proud of, even though she’s come this far - what would you do?”

Micah turned to her, eyes wide. Adora met his gaze. “I’m not saying she did do something you wouldn’t be proud of. I’m just - I’m just asking what —” she let out another breath, dropping her shoulders and slumping against the window frame. “I guess I’m asking you what I should do.”

“What did Glimmer do?” His voice was full of concern and worry.

“Not Glimmer. Someone else I’m close to. Sorry, maybe I should have just led with that, huh?”

“I am a little lost, yeah. So, you have a friend, who isn’t Glimmer, who did something you’re not proud of, and I’m hearing that you just found out about it?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I think that depends a lot on what this friend did and if it changes how you see her. Or him. Or them—”

“Her.”

“Okay. Do you want to get something off your chest, or do you want me to test out your wisdom theory?”

Adora smiled and hummed. “A bit of both? Can I - can I just tell you something - and promise me it’ll stay between us - and if you have any kind of advice or wisdom, you can tell me?”

Micah nodded, then squatted down and crossed his legs, motioning for Adora to sit as well. She slid down, leaning against the wall and rested her arm on her knee. Gazing at the floor, she started relaying the revelation Catra had dropped on her in the ship. She made every effort to avoid mentioning Catra’s name, but she worried the details made her identity obvious enough.

When she finished, she turned pleading eyes to Micah. “Please don’t tell anyone what I told you.”

“My lips are sealed.” Micah leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together in thought. He dropped his shoulders, furrowing his eyebrows for a moment. “Sounds like quite the moral conundrum.”

“What I don’t really understand - and what I think worries me the most - isn’t what she did but how I feel about it.”

“And how do you feel?”

Adora shook her head. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. She brought her hands together over her mouth and breathed. Then: “I don’t think I’m as angry or horrified as I should be.”

Micah stared at her, his expression unreadable. Adora felt her stomach go cold.

“Is that wrong? Is that not terrible? I should be furious, shouldn’t I? What she did - that’s exactly what I’ve been fighting for so long against!”

“I can’t really say how you should feel, Adora. Maybe you should try thinking about why you feel that way? There’s a reason, but it sounds like right now you’re too much in shock, too concerned with what you think your morality should be, to really think about where these feelings are coming from in the first place. It could be that your reaction is coming from a place of understanding, not approval.”

“She killed people! Intentionally! Our people!”

“People who, for her, were the enemy, were they not? People who just as easily would have killed her?”

“Yes, but - she was wrong! She was killing people who were fighting against evil!”

Micah was silent for another moment, staring fixedly at Adora. She watched him as he thought through his next response.

“I don’t know how this might sound to you, but I want you to think about this carefully. No one is the villain in their own mind. Not while they’re able to justify their actions. Cat — your friend — when she was killing Rebellion fighters, she wasn’t doing it for the sake of being evil. She was doing it either because from her perspective she was fighting on the side of good, or maybe she was doing it to survive. That doesn’t make it right, and I’m hearing that she recognizes that. These flashbacks she’s having; it sounds like she’s started to see herself now as the villain in her own mind, and it sounds like she’s fighting herself over this, too.”

Adora fell silent, staring at the floor. She closed her eyes and shook her head before covering her face in her hands. She let out a long groan.

Micah continued, softly. “Besides, it also sounds like you’re actually trying to convince yourself that what she did was unjustifiable, and that she’s the one who can no longer justify it. What is it that you’re really worried about?”

“That if I don’t hate her for what she did, I’m just as terrible as she was. But I can’t. I can’t hate her.”

“Do you really believe she was terrible? Or is that something else you’re trying to convince yourself?”

Adora heaved a sigh. She started tracing lazy circles on the floor with her finger. “Yes and no. I - I get it. I think I know why she did everything she did, or I’m starting to. I just - I don’t know. I’m just so confused about how I’m supposed to feel. When she told me what she did I - I was terrified of her, but I understood. And - I think part of me realized that we’re really not that different.”

“How so?”

“I - I remember when - when I brought her back from Prime’s ship, when I found out just how much he’d hurt her, I wanted to kill him. I decided I would. I - I stopped caring who I’d have to kill to get to him. I’ve never felt like that before. It terrifies me. How dark I felt.”

Micah’s hand reached out and settled on hers. She looked up to meet a solemn expression on his face. “I know, Adora. I fought the Horde too, long ago. I remember that pain, that anger of losing everything you love. What you felt does not make you, or anyone, a terrible person. It just makes you human.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Adora holding her knees to her chest, eyes peering down at the floor. She closed her eyes and sighed. “I should go see her. She’s really not okay right now.” As she stood and started for the stairs, she turned and looked at him. “Thank you, Micah. You really are wise, you know. I’ll make sure Glimmer knows she can talk to you,” she offered with a smile, and he grinned back at her.

“Any time, Adora. And don’t worry, I won’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”

———————————

The door of the brig slid open and Melog turned to face the offending light from the hallway, seeing Adora with a tray of tea and dumplings. They stood and trotted over to Adora, winding around her legs with a purr. Catra, who was curled on the floor with her back to the door, hardly acknowledged Adora’s entry with little more than a flick of her ear before recoiling even more tightly into a ball. Adora knelt down, setting the tray on the floor, and sat beside Melog and Catra.

“You should leave.”

Adora stared at Catra in disbelief. “I told you I’d come back.”

“You don’t have to stay.”

Adora set a hand on Catra’s hip and Catra flinched away from her touch. Adora pulled her hand back and shuffled against the wall.

“Please, at least drink something.”

Catra thumped her tail on the floor. Then she shot up and spun to face the tray, grabbing one of the mugs and pouring herself a cup. She gave the steaming liquid a sniff and closed her eyes. She glanced at Adora and saw her staring back like she was studying her. Catra looked down at the mug in her hands and passed it to Adora. Adora smiled, taking the mug, and watched as Catra filled the other mug and held it up to her nose, inhaling the peppermint tea.

“Thanks,” Catra muttered before taking a sip.

Adora took a sip herself and leaned back against the wall. She held the mug out for Melog to sniff and laughed when they dipped their tongue into her tea. Melog gave a small hiss, wincing at the heat.

“Maybe I should have brought another mug for you, huh?” Adora gave Melog a loving scratch under their chin, then returned to studying Catra.

Catra kept her eyes on her mug, fiddling anxiously with it, before she took another sip.

“Can you tell me how you’re feeling?”

“Like shit,” Catra responded dryly.

Adora nodded and looked down.

“Adora, you don’t think I’m a monster, do you?” Catra’s voice was a whisper.

Adora gazed at her until Catra turned and met her eyes. “No.”

“But I killed so many people.”

“We were at war.”

“They were your people! How can you even look at me?” Catra’s eyes were filling with tears, her hands squeezing around the mug.

Adora watched a tear fall from Catra’s eyes. “Catra, I can look at you because I know you aren’t a monster. The way you feel right now, that isn’t how a monster feels. A monster justifies the suffering they cause.”

Catra heaved a sob and turned away from Adora. She cradled the hot mug against her chest.

“Can I tell you something?” Catra was silent, so Adora continued. “If I had to kill ten thousand Horde soldiers to get you back from Prime’s ship, I would, and I don’t know if I’d regret it.”

To her surprise, Catra started laughing. She turned to Adora, tears still running down her cheeks. “Adora, you probably did kill ten thousand Horde soldiers.”

A stone dropped in Adora’s gut. She’d hardly considered the clones she fought on Prime’s ship to be people, individuals, anything more than automatons designed to fight and die for Lord Prime. But Catra was right. Even within a week of their leader being purged from existence, most of them had begun to explore their own individuality and autonomy. And Adora had indeed slaughtered countless numbers of them on the flagship, as much for Catra as for Etheria. Not to mention Hordak’s soldiers she’d fought before Lord Prime arrived - her own people, fellow Etherians caught up in the wrong side of a war they had no choice in being part of. How many of them had she killed? The intention was never to actually kill anyone, of course, but had she?

“Adora, I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“Then we won’t.”

“Do you promise?”

“I swear on my life.”

“Don’t. Just promise, idiot.”

Adora smiled, reaching a hand out to wipe the tears from Catra’s cheeks. Catra leaned in and Adora pulled her into a tight embrace. “I promise. We’re done fighting.”


End file.
